If you follow our adventure via this blog (Hallo, Reader!) then you'll have noticed a bit of radio silence lately...which contrasts starkly with the cacophony that now permeates our loft.
Yo, I had a baby.
I pushed a small human from my body. This wee being decided Okay, enough of the sadness and fear and frustration that set up yurts through most of November – I Am Arriving!
And Arrive she did, a full 24 days early, giving a first wave around 4:30am on November 22. Wee W was born about five hours later, with the help of our phenomenal team at Good Samaritan Hospital in DTLA. much awe and gratitude for Dr. Sarah Yamaguchi and our doula Carmen Bornn (yes that's her real last name). But yah – baby girl came into the world fast.
Since then, life has passed in a haze of two babies, their respective diapers; wrangling an almost-walker while soothing a squalling newborn; feeding Wee W from a boob while also spooning rice cereal into S jr's mouth; general insanity/tears/exhaustion/laughter/crying/fatigue –
This face, though. Worth every moment.
The first couple weeks were rough. Let me start by saying that I AM VERY VERY LUCKY. Labor and delivery went extremely well. No damage to anyone, which I definitely feared as a possibility. Recovery has been good – sometimes painful and frustrating, but always moving forward. I definitely had some baby blues and continue to experience dips in my usual optimism.
Corey has been amazing. Incredible. I AM SO FREAKING GRATEFUL. In addition to basically taking on the lion's share of S jr duty, he's also been taking care of me. Because I seem to have lost all ability to A) Feed myself B) Take my placenta capsules/fish oil/vitamins 3) Drink water D) Make coherent lists.
Because that primitive thing that happens when you have children is REAL. The first few days of life with S jr, it felt as if the entire world were just moving way, way too fast. Dangerously, recklessly fast. And all of it a threat to the well-being of my child. Now with a double stroller, I will fucking smite you dead in the crosswalk if you try anything. Yesterday I yelled at a driver who had stopped a couple inches from the crosswalk HEY! PAY ATTENTION! DID YOU EVEN SEE ME?????? while walking from one downtown corner to the other. People down here are often idiots in their cars, and I never take for granted that a driver has seen me, even with the massive, bright red double stroller I'm pushing.
But I'm out walking. I'm just starting to brave the world. It's terrifying. You don't know fear until you have kids.
Today, me and Corey, C jr, S jr and Wee W all went for a walk. Destination: Gresescent, which is pretty much one of the best destinations ever. C jr has an unmatched passion for ice cream. Craves it constantly. Was in heaven:
So, normalcy. Hints of normalcy. A new normal.
Hopefully, more to come.